How to Stay on Track While Fasting

OMG you guys, if I knew I would write it here. It’s REALLY hard!!!

So, let’s start with a little bit about me: I’m a 32 year old graphic designer living in the Midwest with dreams of Boston. Soon Boston! I’m coming!!! I have high functioning, treatment resistant, major depression, a general anxiety disorder and a binge eating disorder, along with endometriosis, chronic back pain and lots of headaches. Plus this general feeling of icky from being 120lbs over weight. I feel sick just typing that. Gross!!

I have tried every diet known to man. Believe me. I’ve been dieting since I was like 10 years old. I’ve tried them all. Every variation, every pill and potion, I even drank something every day that tasted like soap.

About 6 years ago I set out on a eat healthy and exercise plan to lose 45lbs and really kick this in the pants. Lets do this!!! I became obsessed with exercise because everyone said that was the key. It’s bullshit. That’s not the key. I exercised for 2 hours a day, 6 days a week for 2 years and lost like 5lbs. Fuck that!

SO, I came to the conclusion (Yes, the hard way… that’s how I roll) that its what you eat.

I’ve also heard the whole count calories thing. Been there, done that. I went 3 months on 500 calories a day and only lost like 10lbs. So, obviously, it’s not JUST calories either. It’s the kind of food that you eat.

So… what do I eat? Well, mainly chocolate, coffee, chocolate coffee, cheese and pasta. I LOVE pasta and cheesy pasta… What were we talking about? Oh! FASTING. Right. Ok, so I’m a vegetarian. I was born that way. Seriously. I have never eaten meat at all. I do eat dairy products though and sugar, the bane of my existence. I’m convinced that it’s poison, but still can’t stop eating it.

Late last year I came across a documentary on Amazon Prime Video about fasting. It talked about healing people through fasting for about 2 weeks. They heal people of everything from obesity to cancer through just water fasting. I had no idea, but I had long thought that the key to losing weight was to just stop eating. But what if I could heal my depression or make it a lot better through this as well?

I went to facebook groups for more information. I had joined this weight loss group on there and someone was talking about the Snake Juice Diet. From there I found several other groups about fasting and healing. I’m GREAT at research. I know all the things about this now. I just can’t seem to do it. You see… I just keep getting hungry and I cave.

For the moment I live with my parents, 2 siblings and 1 niece. Last year was rough, it’s a long story. I’m working on moving, but for now, I’m stuck. I’m stuck with people who eat junk food all the time, loads of carbs and eat 3 times a day. They make a big deal if I don’t eat too, not like I have that kind of self control.

I have this idea to fast for 100 days. Supposedly you can lose anywhere from .5lb to 1lb a day while fasting long term. If I could fast for 100 days most of my problem would be solved. It’s just the fasting part that I can’t seem to get to.

I know what I want to do, but I just can’t do it. Ya know?

So, this is my story, my struggle, a place to put all of my info and research and possibly help someone else. And who knows, maybe someday I will get there too. For now I’m headed to Target over my lunch break and hoping to not come out of that place with either chocolate or coffee. Wish me luck!



Fasting Motivation

OMG, so this weekend was really hard. Basically I sat around and ate all weekend. Not good. I’m getting back on the wagon, back on my idea about fasting.

Have you heard about the Snake Juice Diet? It’s this very obnoxious guy who claims that you can lose 100 lbs in 60 days by fasting and drinking his “snake juice” which is salt and potassium to keep your electrolytes balanced.

His videos are pretty motivating though: Why Fat People Don’t Need to Eat

He says that if you are 100 lbs overweight that you can loose 2 lbs a day. I’m sure that slows down at some point, but DAMN!! 2 lbs a day!

If I can just make it through the first 3 days. Those are supposed to be the hardest. I only made it 36 hours, but I didn’t have any type of electrolyte replacement.

It’s just getting yourself in the right mindset to do it. It’s like running. I used to run every single day. I would get so frustrated because I would talk myself out of running before I started and then the whole time while I was running. It’s a constant battle.

Your body can handle a lot more than your mind can.

Fasting is the same for me. I’m just constantly talking myself out of it, making it way harder than it needs to be. I just need to gain a little bit of control over what goes on in my head. How does one even do that?!?! If I figure it out I’ll let you know.

The only thing I have found that even half way works is just waiting. Wait for a minute, for a few minutes, then a few minutes becomes and hour and before you know it its been 5 hours. It’s supposed to get easier at some point though. We shall see.

Failure Again & Again

So, last night I was so hungry that I had dinner. And it wasn’t all healthy and shit either. There was quesadillas and chips and ice cream. Ugh. I felt so sick after eating too. One good thing was I didn’t eat as much as I normally do.

13 hours in again. But I’m not too hopeful about today. I’ve had a rough week. And this morning was awful. It’s not even 9am yet.

I had a run-in with a person that I hate, had to call the IRS (which is always fun), and got really mad that I owe them $350 and I don’t know why and they won’t tell me why.

I’m SO OVER being an adult right now.

My depression has been really bad lately too. I was noticing last night how difficult it was for me to just do simple things. It’s funny how it creeps up on you and all of the sudden you are drowning.

But you know what I do it make myself feel better? Food. All the food. I so don’t want to do that this time.

There are other options, of course. Yoga, exercise, meditation, eating right, sleeping… I know. I’ve heard it all. But here’s the thing: none of it is magic. It doesn’t just instantly make me feel better. And even after sticking with some of these things for a month, I still don’t feel that much different.

So, today I’m drowning myself in Diet Dr Pepper and feeling all of the feels and just letting myself feel bad. And I’m probably going to sleep all weekend too. Just because.

Day 1, Hour 15: Coffee for Lunch

I LOVE Starbucks. I would drink it everyday if I could afford it. It’s my lifeline.

The thing is that I only like it with milk and sugar and chocolate and whipped cream and chocolate shaving sprinkles. Awwwe. Coffee.

I HATE actual plain coffee. Yuck! But my coffee, a melted candy bar in a cup, is part of why I am here… 120lbs overweight. SO… regular coffee it is. I did add a little bit of cream because Dr. Fung said that was ok.

I’ve also had about 4 bottles of water this morning, 1 with 1/8 teaspoon of salt. That wasn’t as bad as what I thought, but I may look into getting some capsules to put the salt in rather than just eating it. It’s a bit off putting and I don’t think I can keep that up. Let’s just make it easy so we stick to it, right? It’s already hard enough.

I got a bottle of Hint wanter too. It doesn’t have any kind of sweetener in it so I think its ok. I got the cherry flavor. It’s pretty good. I LOVE a brand of water called Metro Mint, but I live out in the sticks and we don’t have a store that carries it. We barely have a Walmart here. It’s like hell.

Very hungry. Supposed to be working. Typing this instead. Trying to keep my goals in mind. Might write them down in another post later. Going to have to figure out how to pin them to the top or side of this thing or something.

I need a weight loss tracker too and a time tracker. I’ll have to look into that too.